I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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