guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
