marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize