Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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