I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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