Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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