Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
