Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
