My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
