I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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