I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
