I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
