if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
