Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
