Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
