The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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