He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
