I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize