ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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