I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
