Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize