she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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