Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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