We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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