She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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