mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
