i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Found the puke drawer
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm like, not good at living.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize