too bad you live with your parents still
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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