I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you never un-have a 4some
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
