If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
