i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
