Don't you send me to vm
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just pee around me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
