He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
