Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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