I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
