We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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