No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
