I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize