I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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