out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
