So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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