I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
