and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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