last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
