Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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