Duck Duck Cougar?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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