i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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