just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize