I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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