But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
are you still at the devil's house?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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