Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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