Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
As shirtless as possible
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
