do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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