I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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