i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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