This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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