I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
