Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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