Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
