Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
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Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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