the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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