She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just forgot I was standing up.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You don't make any sense
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