we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
